That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
