I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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