yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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