I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
