i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
