I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
