there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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