He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
