I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
