$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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