Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
