HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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