apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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