Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
