I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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