So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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