This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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