Capitaan dildo arrescate!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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