I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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