On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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