Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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