Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
