this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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