my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize