when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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