I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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