i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize