Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
