Duck Duck Cougar?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I will be naked everywhere
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
