you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
