addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
