I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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