nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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