He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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