Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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