im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
