i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
NoShamevember. You game?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
