just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
