got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
