Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
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I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
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Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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