I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
