im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
