This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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