I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
