I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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