let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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