so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
