forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
