i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i will never coherently bang her
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
