So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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