I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
