i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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