I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
