When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
My underwear smells like fireworks.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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