Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
then he tried to convert me to islam
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
