Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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