And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
