I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
