I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
