come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
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Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We are all done wearing pants today
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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