It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
