Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
