We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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