There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
and eventually we just all took our pants off
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
