He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
