I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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