well most of my day revolves around power hour
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
