Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
