I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
